Mean Girls..Growing up pains as a teenager in Singapore

Growing up in Singapore as a teenager can be quite scary.

From young, you are brain-washed by the society (and your parents) that the key to living life is to excel in everything, everytime.

As soon you as you reach two, you are enrolled in some nursery; three, you start learning ballet; four, the abacus; five, playing the piano or violin; the list goes on.

During Primary/Secondary school life (or Junior/Middle for the US), you are expected to score distinctions for all subjects and to be top notch in your ECAs (read: activties you do during your remaining free time except for lessons, sleep, eat and toilet/shower breaks)

No wonder we are ranked one of the most hard-working or stressed nations amongst the world in a recent global survey.

And in an attempt to escape from being labelled as an all-round achiever but individualistic, lone-ranger (or some would call nerds), many young boys and girls form cliques of their own and determine their own codes of conducts which dictate the habits, lingo, culture, and preferences of the youths in the group.

The better ones or 'atas' (high class or society) types would be like those in the Lindsay Lohan movie 'Mean Girls' - classy, pretentious and aloof.

The not-so-glam ones would be what many would call - the LV, Gucci and Prada brands-adoring Ah Bengs and Ah Lians, fashion victims of colors gone wrong but full of comaradie and justice for the brood.

But did anyone ask why is there the popularity of forming these cliques, in Singapore and everywhere across the universe? These could be some reasons, I guess.

1) Our animalistic instincts tell us that being in groups are good. Or at least by nature, we are better acustomed or work better, being together.

2) All the peer pressure of having to be in a group with same interests and virtues contributes to this phenomena. It's like how many women worship their Jimmy Choos or Bottega Veneta. It's literally the same.

3) The fear and insecurity of being alone and feeling all-powered up like some powerpuff girls or superman when they come together in a group.

To me, this is all part of growing up. Many of these youngsters will grow out of this phase when they emerge in their twenties, get into universities or embark onto their working lives. Soon enough, they will realise that they have grown to like themselves better, and to accept who they really are and be comfortable in their own skin. Many did. Well, I did. But for some who don't, hmm.. let's just give them a couple of more years then.

Life is all about having fun, so don't get too serious.

Stanley

P.S. I Love You

Love is...

This is a question that man has pondered over for millions of years. Shakespeares wrote about it, ancient folklores included it, and even modern days stories cannot escape from it.

Today, I watched Sex and the City for the 2nd time. You would have to put me on a death row for not following the series for a god-forsaken period. Neverthless, the editors did a superb job in summarising the major happenings (or what I have missed so far) in our heroines' lives into a tight 5 min intro at the start of the show.

While watching the movie, I was touched by the yearning and hope for love, yet saddened by the insecurities and fragility of it. The scene when Carrie Bradshaw smashed the bouquet of lillies on Mr. Big's head was a classic. You could see the angst and humiliation in Carrie's eyes; the importance of each hit, as if to signify the destruction of their love; and the choice of weapon - flowers - something so delicate, like love, yet damaging, when good love turns into hatred.

This movie is bound for the all-time favorite list for many (at least it's in mine). So, those who have not paid your dues to Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, and of course, Samantha, please do it NOW. Your S$10 bucks and time are certainly worth it.

On this Saturday night, I have chosen a quiet time at home and picked up a romantic title - P.S. I Love You by Hilary Swank and Gerard Butler (I know what you are thinking of...). I have heard pretty decent reviews on the show and was anticipating for some tear-filled moments, but was slightly disappointed by how far-fetched and uneventful (ok, boring) the plot can be. I still give due credits to Hilary Swank's Oscar-worthy performance, but the story didn't quite did her much justice as she seemed kind of restraint in it most of the time.

Having said that, the idea of moving on positively after a love relationship dawned onto me. Sometimes, it is not the possession of a loved one that depicts the dedication of love. It is making the person happy; allowing him or her to have the freedom to fulfil personal dreams and be happy; that's what is most important. Interestingly, sometimes, you will feel much happier if you can help the other person get back onto track in life after a failed relationship. Never burn your bridges.

Speaking from my experience, I believe love is about accomodating and respecting each other. No one's borne the same, even though we are from the same planet. The various backgrounds, families and even friends can change and model a person's character differently.

Trust is to be earned but when it's received, cherish it like a prized trophy. Don't break it.

And, never, ever desert or dump your loved ones aside when you are upset or angry over trivial issues. For this is the most hurtful thing that you can do onto your partner and sometimes, the process is non-reversible. Meeting that special someone is a God's gift. If you choose to forsake it, the chance will pass, and it may be too late for any regrets.

Most recently, I have met a couple of new friends and this particular person has shown me a different side of love - chaste and pure. Thank you, my friend.

Regardless, I have not given up on Love yet. So neither should you.

Stanley

P.S. I Love You